d

Don’t have sex with your mother. She’s your mother. Don’t have sex with your mother. (Leviticus 18:7)

Don’t have sex with your mother. She’s your mother. Don’t have sex with your mother. (Leviticus 18:7)

Dear reader: We believe you should not have sex with your mom/dad, stepmom/dad, sister/brother, half-sister/brother, stepsister/ brother, granddaughter/son, aunts/uncles, daughters/sons-in-law, sisters/brothers-in-law, and that it is a pretty safe bet that you should avoid poly-amorous relationships with members of the same family, or your own family. Apparently, so does the Bible.

The wise men, three years late for the nativity (Matthew 2:8-11) [An Epiphany Card Talk]

The wise men, three years late for the nativity (Matthew 2:8-11) [An Epiphany Card Talk]

Beyond the fact that the magi never met the baby Jesus, the true gift of the magi is the epiphany, the revelation, Christ wants us to apprehend: that to be seen standing (or kneeling) for something often means we will suffer.

Jesus was an Immigrant, a Refugee

Jesus was an Immigrant, a Refugee

Fleeing oppression and likely death, the holy family crossed international boarders without papers. They took whatever they could carry, what little resources they had, and fled. Joseph trusted that God would provide for his family: a Brown day laborer with carpentry skills, a young, frightened wife, and their precociously wide-eyed child.

Setting shit on fire to get attention (2 Samuel 14:28-33): An Apology in Defense of Absalom

Setting shit on fire to get attention (2 Samuel 14:28-33): An Apology in Defense of Absalom

Absalom knew that lighting shit on fire is appropriate when attempting to catch the attention of an unjust system. Thus, Amnon, King David, and their "boys will be boys" bullshit attitude, got exactly what they deserved.

Lusting After Lovers with Donkey Genitals and Horse Emission (Ezekiel 23:20) and Ezekiel’s Obsession with Pornographic Metaphors

Lusting After Lovers with Donkey Genitals and Horse Emission (Ezekiel 23:20) and Ezekiel’s Obsession with Pornographic Metaphors

Perhaps we should remember the women in the room when Ezekiel first uttered these words. They had been forcibly marched from their homes. They had watched their families die. Some had been raped by the Babylonians. How did they feel? Perhaps we should remember the women who read these texts today, the women in our churches and homes, whose current situations are not too dissimilar to the women in exile by the rivers of Babylon. They have enough reasons to weep.

Unbridled Horniness (Most of Song of Solomon) [A Guest Card Talk]

Unbridled Horniness (Most of Song of Solomon) [A Guest Card Talk]

“What the Bible is rather silent on is sexual relationships between two unmarried but committed and consenting people.  Except in Song of Solomon. Here, we have a love story in its many facets.  There is no judgement and no condemnation. And no guarantee of marriage.  And we don’t know what to do with it. And that’s a tragedy.”

“Following God’s commands not being that difficult” (Deuteronomy 30:11-14)

“Following God’s commands not being that difficult” (Deuteronomy 30:11-14)

Perhaps holiness is the hardest thing there is. Not because we don't know how we should or should not act. Or because we need someone to explain right and wrong. Or because we need someone to bring us a set of divine revelations to act like decent human beings. But because we simply make excuses.

Jesus writing something in the sand (probably what type of an asshole you are)- John 8:1-11

Jesus writing something in the sand (probably what type of an asshole you are)- John 8:1-11

While the woman had sinned, the goal of the religious leaders was not in the interest of community holiness, redeeming the woman, healing a broken family, or mending broken relationships. She was a pawn. Jesus knew all this and responded accordingly.

Turning Fine Gold and Silver Jewelry into Gilded Dildos (Ezekiel 16:17) Or the Trouble with Prudish Translations

Turning Fine Gold and Silver Jewelry into Gilded Dildos (Ezekiel 16:17) Or the Trouble with Prudish Translations

Ezekiel (misogynistically) took the metaphor of Jerusalem as an unfaithful wife to the extreme. For Zeke, Jerusalem's dalliances with other nations was like her measuring her lover's dick, taking the gifts her husband gave her, making dildos out of them, and then cumming to that instead of the man in bed with her.