![O Come, O Come Emmanuel (Isaiah 7:14) [An Advent Card Talk]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55a9a1e3e4b069b20edab1b0/1483161046976-X5VJE3CMP9T957O72EII/3d-wallpapers-light-dark-wallpaper-35822.jpg)
Most of Bathsheba’s story is her silence. Let’s try to hear her voice and remember her ending: the queen-mother of Israel, clothed with strength and dignity, laughing over the graves of her abusers!
Don’t have sex with your mother. She’s your mother. Don’t have sex with your mother. (Leviticus 18:7)
Dear reader: We believe you should not have sex with your mom/dad, stepmom/dad, sister/brother, half-sister/brother, stepsister/ brother, granddaughter/son, aunts/uncles, daughters/sons-in-law, sisters/brothers-in-law, and that it is a pretty safe bet that you should avoid poly-amorous relationships with members of the same family, or your own family. Apparently, so does the Bible.
Setting shit on fire to get attention (2 Samuel 14:28-33): An Apology in Defense of Absalom
Not Checking Out Hot Virgins (Job 31:1) Or What Happened to the Evangelical Brand?
OldTestamentTrump on Women
Though our archaeological digging has been unearthing and archiving all the musings of OldTestamentTrump elsewhere, this topic seems to deserve its own page.
"I really understand beauty and I will tell you Esther is not. I own the Miss Persia & Miss Mesopotamia pageants. I do understand beauty."
"It really doesn’t matter what the scribes write as long as you’ve got a young & beautiful and sturdy piece of ass."
On the rape of Dinah: “I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”
On the rape of Tamar: “Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”
On the rape of the un-named woman in Judges: “And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything.”
On the rape of Bathsheba: “I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. I’ll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married.”
In his second public debate:
Levite moderator: Trump Ben-Fred, did you rape Dinah?
“You know, in a world where Assyrians are chopping off head, & Egyptians are drowning babies in the Nile, where there are wars and rumors of war, and the Philistines are encroaching on our western shores. I tell you. I will be the next David, you better believe it. “
Levite moderator: The question was did you rape Dinah?
"China."
Sadly, more to come, we're sure.
